I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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