he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
BRING THE BAGELS
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
