k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
