I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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