this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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