I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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