So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I supernannyed him into submission
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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