My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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