I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
