But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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