Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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