I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
