I think i sorta joined a cult last night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
