he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't put those talents on a resume
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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