brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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