I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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