so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize