We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
