I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
