Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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