We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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