bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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