i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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