You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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