Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize