I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
