I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Your tits are I can't wait for
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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