this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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