I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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