Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Drake has all the answers
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
