Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
