sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
