Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
