Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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