It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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