i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
