Screwed.edu
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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