I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize