what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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