I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
