White coat. Heels.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
