Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize