Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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