you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
