I love black thongs
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize