I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
