break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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