Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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