i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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