is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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