I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
