so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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