We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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