drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
wow bdsm is so cute
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
