Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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