batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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