If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
