brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
