suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize